so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
