how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
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You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.