were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying