Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.