People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
