How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
