Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
