The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do vagina's smell?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
