I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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