Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize