what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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