we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
