Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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