So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
