Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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