That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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