Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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