Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
