oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
