Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
