I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
