You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
