Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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