Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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