Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
