did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
