This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it glows. i had to have it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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