i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
