Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just pee around me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You don't make any sense
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