I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
