dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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