did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
