RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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