I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
