I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
