This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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