I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
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Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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