"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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