thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
