Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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