go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think people are normalizing furries
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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