Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I party with great urgency now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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