Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
