elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
