You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
