you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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