Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.