I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?