I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.