I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS