Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.