and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn