i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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