we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
