Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
