That's intense
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
