I have demons in me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
