Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
