Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
