I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
