okay pat passed out under dana's car
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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